found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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