and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
