from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
