Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
