thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
