I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
