i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
