but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
