Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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