I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
