I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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