Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
