I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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