i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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