i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
