I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
