I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize