my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
