My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
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