My hair reeks of homosexuality.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
