i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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