I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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