singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
