ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
