ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
