I must be too annoying 4 u.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
