it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
