Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
