i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
