i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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