escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
