I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
