I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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