put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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