in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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