I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize