Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
