we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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