Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
