My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
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