ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
