this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
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Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
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Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize