I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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