the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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