why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
