it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
