I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think my moral compass just broke
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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