and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
