remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I need water and some morals
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
