you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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