You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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