You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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