what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
