you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
