Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
