Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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