My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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