I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize