Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
