Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
