wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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