I could make wine with my vomit
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
