Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
