I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
