Only a mothe r could love this liver
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
