..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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