dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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